I called Brent on the way home. I started out trying to be positive. I tried to say that while I had some reservations I thought it would work. Because I like to have decisions made. But the more I talked about my reservations the more I realized that they were fatal objections and we would not be sending Thelly to the Palmyra Academy. Which left me once again without a plan for Thelly for school which starts in just over a week.

Brent who is wise and well practiced at patiently exploring all options before making a decision suggested that I call the other Autism school in town that. I found out from the people at Palmyra that there is another school that is geared towards more high functioning kids and does not have an inclusion program (which I see as a bonus since I think the inclusion program is in actual fact an exclusion program). The problem that I knew existed with that school is that it is an hour from my house. And that makes it logistically impossible for our family. But Brent wanted me to call and find out if they have any transportation options. And he wanted me to call the psychiatrist and ask her if she had any suggestions.

I didn't want to make those calls. I was sure I already knew the answers. But there is hope that some day I will be able to move on from the only lesson I ever really get in the temple, because I did it any way. The far away school didn't answer and I left them a message (but it doesn't matter because I saw on their website that they do have an exclusion program, so they're pretty much out anyway.) I also left a message for the psychiatrist and when she called me back she gave me the names of three schools.

The first one she mentioned sounded quite promising. She read from their website that their

"program is beneficial for all students, including those whose academic success is compromised in the classroom due to learning differences and attention problems."

She said that's just a euphemism for Autism spectrum disorders which didn't bother me. Apparently I'm OK with some euphemisms. To me that sounds like "we're willing to take your kid who has issues whatever they may be and we're not going to label him and single him out because of them; we've got kids with all kinds of of different issues." The other two schools were in the same part of town as the really far school, and they didn't strike me as exactly what I was looking for anyway.

It was Friday at 3:00 and I had promised Migillicutty that I would take her and her friends to the mall at 4:00. (This would not be my favorite activity if they did it frequently, but since they do it about twice a year I don't really mind.) Plus it turned out to be fortuitous because this latest prospective school for Telly just happened to be a couple of blocks down the street from the mall.

I was sure they would be closed. I really just thought we would drive by and see the building; get a visual impression of the place. But when we pulled up there were cars. And the door was slightly ajar. Brent asked me later if it was a real school or just someone's in home pre-school type program that they are calling a school. I don't know what I said that gave that impression but I have to admit there was a bit of a home pre-schoolish feel to the school.

We met with the woman who appeared to be the owner/director/principal as well as the middle school teacher. There are three other classrooms whose age groupings vary each year depending on enrollment. But none of the classrooms are just one grade. The middle school has approximately 10 kids and she teaches them all together, or all individually in the case of math or in small groups when that is more appropriate.

For some time as I've thought about what I wanted for Thelly for this year I've had a general impression of this kind of school. I pictured a group of kids of different ages who for various reasons weren't going to public school and I thought that if I had the skills to do it I would just invite them all over here and I would make a school for them in the casita. And I would teach them all on their own level, doing some things together and somethings individually or in small groups, just trying to meet each child's needs.

This school is what I've been looking for. I think. Apparently I'm a pessimist because I keep thinking that it must be too good to be true. My idea of how things should be makes perfect sense to me, but since no one does it that way I had decided that there must be a reason. It must be a good theory but it doesn't work in practice or else people would do it, right? But this woman is doing it. And it sounds like it's working.

And I loved her attitude. She did mention that she had a child who was truly "mentally challenged." But otherwise she talked about her kids as moving at different speeds and having different abilities, strengths and weaknesses without seeming to label or categorize them. When she talked about teaching life skills she said she expected the kids who preferred to type their papers on their laptop to put them on a thumb drive and plug it into the printer to print their own work. Which is much more my speed than teaching them to put nuts and bolts together (one of the tasks at the other school). She said that she's noticed that some of her kids work better listening to music so she lets them bring their iPods if it helps them. Which is so much less patronizing than "your child will have a special box labeled with his name that has some of his comfort objects and when he needs a sensory break he can go to the calm zone and pull out his object until he feels up to rejoining the group."

I'm not saying what she is doing is functionally all that different from the Palmyra school, it's just that the attitude is so different. It comes from a perspective of expecting performance rather than expecting....nothing.

It's still pretty far away and I haven't quite settled the transportation issue yet. But I have a few options and I'm pretty sure I can make it work. It's 1/3 the price of the other school which is much more comfortable for us. The idea of committing to making monthly payments without a definite and dependable source of income to pay for it, isn't exactly the way we do things around here. We would have done it if it had been the right thing to do and I'm sure it would have worked out. But it's so nice (and rare) when the thing that you actually want isn't the most expensive option.

I still have a few lingering doubts. What if the atmosphere is so relaxed that it feels like home and he starts having tantrums? They are a Christian school and what if they turns out to actively teach against the church? What will happen if he just won't work when he's there? But I'm pretty sure those are doubts that are coming from my mind. My spirit felt very comfortable there.

I just hope it's not too good to be true.